worth.

It's August! It's August! Wait...what? Where did July go?

I'm almost a month into the Fellowship. Which is incredible. It's been incredible. It's also been hard. Is saying it's been a roller-coaster experience cliche? So be it.

I really enjoy the work I'm doing. I'm working with Donor relations, operations (a.k.a. administrative tasks), and helping plan NFS' big, annual event (Global Forum-- you should come!). It seems like I'm learning something new every day, and I'm incredibly thankful for that. I'm thankful to be learning so much of the inner workings. I'm thankful to be learning how to interact with Donors and handle that side of non-profit life. I'm thankful that I'm being challenged and that the work I'm doing isn't super easy. I'm thankful that I'm being given so much responsibility, even though sometimes the weight of everything makes me want to break down and cry.

I'm thankful that this job is making me stronger.

I'm also thankful for the hard parts. For the not-so easy things. For the housemates who have different worldviews. For the coworkers who do things SO differently. For the roommate who has her opinions. For the long hours and huge tasks.

Yes, it's hard.
Yes, I'm tired.
Yes, I don't have any personal space.
Yes, I don't see eye-to-eye with everyone.
Yes, I want to cry right now.

But it's making me stronger. This is real life. This isn't college, this isn't a dead-end job. There isn't a promise of employment at the end of the Fellowship, but there is the promise that it is preparing me for something else. For something bigger. This is preparing me for the job(s) I want. This is preparing me for what changing the world is really like. It isn't easy and it isn't all rainbows and hugs and smiling children. Changing the world, fighting injustice...is hard. It takes 100% of you, 100% of the time.

But it's worth it. Every tear I hold back, every night I stay up late, every meal I don't have time to eat, being away from loved ones, not having personal space: it's worth it. I'm making a difference. I'm fighting the injustice. I'm stepping into my calling. I'm fighting modern-day slavery, one seemingly meaningless task at a time. I'm fighting the darkness. It's so worth it.